Editor’s Note: This summer, I was blessed to manage the wedding of the daughter of a dear friend. I’ve known the bride since the day she was born, and to be asked to help the family enjoy their day was truly an honor. My friend, the mother-of-the-bride, is a highly talented hostess and entertainer in her own right. But she recognized the need to let go of the reigns and enjoy the day. I asked her to pass along her important thoughts about the process and her perspective.

My daughter got married this summer and it was truly a beautiful and grand affair--all that we could have imagined for our daughter. But this was not my first rodeo and I knew better than to go it alone. Without ample reinforcements, a wedding can take you down pretty quickly. They are expensive and emotional, and in the Pinterest-Etsy vortex brides revolve in, expectations are way over-the-top.

Sure, I’m reasonably good at planning, project-management, and party hosting--doesn’t that pretty much cover it for a wedding? Why should I pay good money for someone else to plan and execute an event when I’m perfectly capable? Dare I say maybe the value is not just in the outcome (a beautiful event) but in the process--the delicate management of time, money, and relationships. And truth be told, when money and relationships are involved, things get, well, sticky. Add in the fact that you may not know half the people involved and you can feel out-gunned pretty quickly and perhaps even pressured into making rash financial decisions. Feelings get hurt and relationships suffer.

Financially, Event Managers can provide reliable information on what you can expect to spend in your geographic area to meet your expectations. They know the venues, the vendors, the prices, and in most cases are savvy negotiators. My daughter got married in Seattle but her fiancé and family were from Alabama where the cost of living (and wedding services) is much, much lower. They were shell-shocked at Seattle prices as they looked for rehearsal dinner venues, hair stylists and make-up artists, hotels, and transportation. An Event manager can provide an objective sounding board for financial decisions and steer you toward the best values and options. Without one, are you actually getting the best value for the services you want? Do napkins really cost $4 apiece in Seattle? Are fancy linen napkins worth it at $4.00 apiece or would the guest experience still be great with the $2.00 ones? Do you need to pay for an extra hour of venue set-up time ($500) or could having an efficient Event coordinator eliminate the need for both extra set-up and clean-up time, saving you $1,000?! Your future in-laws are suggesting a live band ($7,000-yikes!) but voila, your Event Manager says it’s not really an option! You’re off the hook! A good Event Manager can protect both your budget and relationships by acting as a financial buffer between all parties. You can honestly respond to every expectation and suggestion with, “That sounds wonderful, I’ll have to run it by the Wedding Planner.” You can literally fall back on paying someone else to be the fall-guy!

A couple of weeks before my daughter’s Big Day, we were informed that our venue/catering liaison would not be present at our event after all; some sort of family emergency involving out of town travel. We would be assigned a new contact person. Great. Basically starting all over with someone new. Expect it-weddings are like a living organism-constantly growing, changing and evolving. Life happens, people get sick, guest lists change (we had a death, a birth, and an engagement between the time we mailed the invitations and the actual event). You need someone to be the continuity factor between all the moving, evolving parts, and in reality, this is more than a one-person job. Our catering contract alone was rewritten five or six times. Some of our vendors had sub-vendors. A major sporting event required that we adjust our photo-shoot at the last minute to avoid traffic grid-lock. An Event Manager can provide a thread of consistency and continuity between vendors, contracts, negotiations, and on-the-fly adjustments. You may be very “capable” but no one-person can catch every potential problem. A second set of eyes may catch a minor mis-spelling of a guest’s name on the seating chart, or a major costly error in the catering contract.

On the Big Day I wanted to “be there” for those that mattered most to me: my daughter, my husband, our sons, and our aging parents. I certainly could have been at the venue to oversee last minute details-florist, rentals, cake, caterer, DJ, etc. I am undoubtedly capable of managing those things but then I would not have been helping my 83-year-old mother get dressed or watching my best friend style my daughter’s hair. I would not have been there to fix the strap on my mother-in-law’s bra, bring my sons some lunch, or enjoy my husband’s company. Being “capable” does not count for much when you must choose what matters most at a given moment. Weddings are chock-full of those kinds of choices. Even the most capable among us can only be in one place at one time. An Event Manager is invaluable. You need her because some very important, excited, people need you.

On The Big Day I kept my phone close and braced myself for the inevitable onslaught of last minute phone calls. I got…..one. That’s right, just one the whole day. And it wasn’t even an emergency. And this is why you need Marcea and her team at MG Event Design. Because regardless of how capable you are this is the one day you shouldn’t have to be. This is the day to drink it all in, and realize you are blessed to be with family and friends who just want to celebrate with you.

I don’t know how many calls Marcea and her team took on my behalf that day. Frankly, it was worth every penny not to know.